I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever. All day I've just wanted to lay down and sleep like for a long time, partly from being tired but partly from just having to do things that didn't matter to me all day. Not exactly sure where this nonmotivation came from but it was sure added to by the fact that I concluded today that maybe I should jsut give up on matt. Because I feel like it's a waste of emotion to spend so much time and thought and feeling liking him when I swear he just doesnt even care. Idk it's the whole "don't cry over anyone who wouldn't cry over you" and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't and I've already cried over him too much already so yea (not literally cried but like spent too much thought and time on him) I mean there's no use liking someone who could care less about you right? I guess I should include the fact that I don't know for sure that he doesnt care (as nancy reiterated abtou 65 times) but it realy does seem like it. Idk right now I'm trying really really hard just not to care, like not to feel anything...maybe that's why I'm so unmotivated but yea. Ugh I hate whne I'm like over reacting or like most likely over reacting and I know it but I can't stop. It's really annoying hating yourself. alright well that's it. add more later?

M